This weekend we had a family “incident”.
Someone had made a decision based on what they thought were good criteria. They may even have had personal complications that impacted that decision. We are, after all, quite human, and sometimes even our best judgments and perceptions are tainted by our own issues and difficulties. The result was that another member felt quite hurt and left out. Many harms and offenses done are intentional. Just as many are not. In this case I am sure no harm was intended, none the less it was done, and offense was taken.
What happened next was also quite human. The offended party then verbally attacked the offender, causing more harm through another offense. There was another choice here, one of compassionate speaking and listening, where the offended party could have expressed their hurt, seeking information and listening for the human difficulty in the other while addressing their own need for inclusion and expressing their distress at having felt excluded. The offending party would then have had an opportunity to listen and hear, make amends and appropriate new information for future decisions. This did not happen. Instead there was intimidation by the offended party, the attempt to threaten the other to never commit that offense again for fear of another reprisal. Now there are two harmed parties instead of one. A rift that will take time and effort to heal – provided both parties want it to heal, as hurt sometimes chooses to protect itself by staying in that state and keeping distance so as not to be further disturbed. In some instances, we nurture our hurt to protect ourselves from more.
This is the recipe for war.
As go we, so go our nations, cultures and religions. Mind you, the offended party here would call themselves a “good Christian person”, and they are – yet we are still looking at intimidation, retaliation, and offensiveness when a harm has been perceived. If we cannot control, manage and contain ourselves individually, how are we ever to achieve this nationally, internationally?
A compassionate resolution, where the offended party was open to two-way communication, to hearing the other as well as expressing their own feelings in a non-threatening way, could have resulted in no further harm and fully restored relationships and trust. This is the power of compassion, the fifth precept, or guideline, in Reiki practice. Compassion for ourselves and for others. Treating oneself compassionately when we are wounded or feel harmed is an essential first step in healing for both self and others. If we have given ourselves compassion first, we then have it to extend to others, bringing the opportunity for dialogue, understanding, positive change, forgiveness, and strengthened relationships. In this case, compassion for self might have been experienced as self-recognition of one’s own need for inclusion, fragility of emotion and self-care for the wounded heart. Taking time to acknowledge and deal with our pains and hurts leads to self-healing.
War and Peace are our choices.
We make them daily. On an individual and personal basis, we all need to work to be the peace we seek to bring into the world. How? Through applying the principle of the fifth precept in learning compassion for ourselves first; through using the Christian commandment to love others as ourselves, which implies the need to fully love ourselves first, or using whatever other guidelines appear in other philosophical and religious teachings that shine a light on our need for practicing compassion for ourselves and others on a daily basis. We can change the world by choosing wisely, one at a time, incident by incident, to create peace through practicing compassion.
If peace was easy to do, we would live in a peaceful world already, so gear up for the work.
Compassion is not a natural choice, it is a fully aware, spiritually challenging response, learned over time through daily practice in small instances where we awaken to the realization for the need to apply it to ourselves, express it to others and choose it as a way of life.
Am I immune or in a state of perfection regarding compassion? By no means. It is a choice of personal direction, an intention and a practice I work at daily. Compassionately viewing my own weakness creates compassion in me toward those who are unable to make that choice for themselves. Re-centering on the precepts and acknowledging and accepting ourselves compassionately strengthens our intention and fuels our practice. Precepts and guidelines are there to be applied liberally as needed for healing and growth. May you bloom with compassion, feed others in theirs, and help create peace.
Namasté.
Learn Reiki for Peace!
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